Anything you carry in your heart is in your heart. That probably sounds like a forgone conclusion…like why even bother to say it. But you would be surprised how many people think the thing or person that they “have-up” in their heart affects another person. If you carry a bucket of water to give to anyone it is your burden until you lay it down at their feet and it’s quite likely that some of it will spill on you. Forgiveness is your secret technology for unloading yourself of all burdens.
If we could just forgive enough we would be so free of so much pain, whether physical or mental or emotional. Most pain arises from an unforgiving consciousness.
When Jesus spoke about forgiveness, we equated it with a kind of moralistic perfect God-given being, challenging us to do this seemingly impossible thing in order to be pure and light-like or like light. And yes it is true, all that is true but it is not the whole truth. Forgiveness is not just based on an ephemeral or airy-fairy moralistic concept of being spiritual and light. If we could only see that forgiveness is a technology taught by many spiritual technologists who have studied long and hard and discovered how to really be free and empowered. In the same way that an IT specialist knows the inner working of the computer and the Internet, many spiritual masters know he inner workings if the siul; that non-physical and unseen part if ourselves that guides and directs this body that we do see. Jesus as a spiritual technologist for example had so freed himself by using the technology of forgiveness, that his feats and accomplishments would put anything that happened with Neo in the Matrix to shame. Being locked into Jesus on purely moral grounds misses the boat and puts us outside the space of true value of the technology.
Leave your prison. Pack up your bags and then burn them… and leave that prison a free person. Start over. Many times we don’t even know we are harbouring unforgiveness…because we call it many different names and we are willing to not be that child of light. It feels more wholesome to hold on to our ‘lesson learnt in pain’ because it is tied to our understanding that recalling this lesson over and over again helps us to not repeat it. We also secretly believe that holding the person we don’t want to forgive as a hostage in our heart is punishing them. But if only we could look in that prison and see what is really there as if it was a physical manifestation we would see something else. We would see a strange Fantasy/Sci-fi movie where the jail resembles all the unfulfilled dreams and desires of our hearts plastered into a glass wall- see-able but unreachable. And as the camera zooms in to this special prison cell, in the middle of the castle we would see that the person imprisoned is a replica of ourselves…not the person who we believe we are holding hostage.
The truth is that you can hold no one hostage in your heart without their permission. And every time you build a prison for someone or add prison walls in expansion of what you already have, the only materials you truly have to construct this prison is your own thoughts, feelings, words and actions. The prison is not made of brick and mortar. It is made of that inner stuff that you are. And as that is the case, the prisoner must and can only be you. The hostage is you. The person reminded daily of the perceived hurt is you. The person in pain, holding on to the thoughts of the negative past is you.
It’s not like you have access to separate thoughts and feelings and energy apart from what you are currently engrossed and wrapped up in now. That is who you are being. Your being-ness is now. You are where you are focused. You are what you are focused on. You can’t separate it for someone else. If you are holding thoughts of love now, you are being love now. If you are harbouring hate now, then you are being hate now. Use forgiveness to clear out what is not a reflection of where you want to be. Clear what is unlike you so you can be who you want to be. MW AH Michael Holgate