Live Gracefully Graciously
When people do their best to not like you and succeed at not treating you well, don’t get upset. Don’t try get to get back at anyone. Don’t fight fire with fire. Don’t curse them out. Don’t talk badly about them with your friends. Don’t hope for them to fall or fail. Don’t hope they will come around. Live Gracefully Graciously.
If needs be, mark the date. Then keep on being awesome. Your success is not revenge, it is a beacon of light for everyone…Including Them. And when you are light, all heaviness falls away. Who was it who didn’t treat you well again..? There you go…forgiven. Grace.
Yes, sometimes people do their best not to like you- for various reasons. Maybe they just don’t want to like you that much. Maybe your worlds collide. Maybe your truth is unsettling or you just don’t fit in. Whatever it is, don’t stay where you are not welcome and don’t make anyone who speaks ill of you welcome into your home or heart. But be gracefully gracious. You Don’t need to make them aware that you know they speak ill of you. In fact just don’t be aware of it. Forget it as often as possible. And if you are called upon to help them and you can, do it. Help them.
This is not about stifling your feelings. It is not about being a pushover or a ‘goody-two-shoes.’ It is not about hypocrisy- and although many people will misunderstand your willingness to stay gracefully gracious in spite of their unkindness, yiu can still just do it.
- Smoothness and elegance of movement (graceful)
- Courteous good will; respectfulness; manners (gracious)
Put the definitions together and LIVE IN GRACE- (Gracefully Gracious) – no matter what. In other words, be smooth, elegant, respectful and always demonstrate courteous good will towards others- No Matter What!
That ‘no matter what’ is important. It is not about whether that person understands your graciousness or not. I remember a few years ago when I sat in a choreography session of a master Cuban dance artist. A student beside me was speaking excitedly about the dance and I was telling him in hushed tones to be quiet and wait till afterwards. The choreographer turned around to us and in a very loud voice told us to stop speaking and berated us for not being respectful to dance in Jamaica. He said we should either be quiet or leave the room. He went on for a good 2 minutes. I was embarrassed but I completely understood where he was coming from. I started to explain but he was not having it. So I stayed quiet.
After the evening was over, he saw me outside and must have been told by then that I was a Jamaican choreographer and not one of the students coming to watch him at work. He actually apologised and said he thought I was a student and he didn’t mean to insult me. I was NOT gracious. I stayed in my embarrassed mode and Did Not Allow Him To Apologise. I told him I was trying to say all that while he ranted at me inside. We both eventually just walked away. Again I say I was not gracious. When he died a few months later I again felt embarassed-not at the incident but because of my ‘ungraciousness.’
That lack of grace was a lesson to me. Don’t insist on holding on to your hurt feelings. Hurt feelings neither help you nor the other person. Find a way to free yourself and be gracefully gracious until you do. The graciousness keeps your spirit free to find peace…free to dance. I also learned: Don’t lock yourself into your own pain to the point where you forget that other people are human and make mistakes. AND don’t lock yourself into pain so much that you own it as who you are, make excuses for it and start using it to define your world.
So being Gracefully Gracious is not about lightening other people’s load when they have seemingly done you wrong. It is about training YOUR soul to be light. It’s about being more than an agent of change. It is about being the embodiment of transformation. It is about being Empowerment. Getting to that place might not be instantaneous but train yourself to get there.
People will do things and expect you to hate or dislike them. Don’t waste your time on that. You don’t need to convince them otherwise…just work with yourself. Let people think what they will. That’s not your responsibility. Sometimes you get over things quickly and people still carry a flame in opposition to you or create a firewall to block you because they think you are carrying a flame against them. That is not your business. Respect people’s right to lock themselves into their own emotional prisons. If they come your way, show them the open door you passed through… with love.
Every day or hour or second that you CHOOSE to overcome a possibly negative situation or emotion, is cause for celebration. Celebrate it all. Make sure you are not the one holding up a firewall and offering resentment in return for what you think is being sent to you, when it’s not there. Only way to beat all that is to BE GRACEFULLY GRACIOUS . MW AH Michael Holgate