BOUNDARIES are your FREEDOM part 2
Setting Boundaries is an important activity. If your personal space is constantly breached in ways that affect you negatively, you will lose energy; lose peace of mind; lose self-respect and ultimately become disempowered.
Principle 1- BEING CLEAR about what matters to you, helps you create boundaries that limit the access or ability that people have to affect you negatively.
Be clear about the things that have meaning to you.
Be clear about the ‘people-priorities’ and the ‘thing-priorities’ that you have.
Be clear that your peace of mind is primary. You cant give what you don’t have so know that your peace if mind is a top priority over that of others.
Be clear about what makes you feel good and what makes you feel bad.
Principle 2- BOUNDARIES are your RESPONSIBILITY, they aid in your empowerment and make you a better person by diminishing disempowering situations in your life.
When you don’t set boundaries you are often fearfully reactive or miserable and unkind when an ‘undefined threshold’ has been crossed by another person.
Setting Boundaries therefore require you to take responsibility for how you feel and for the personal space you want to maintain. If you have not set a boundary, you cannot in all integrity blame people for operating in ways that feel like a violation of your space. It is unreasonable of you to get upset because people cross an imaginary line in your mind that only you are aware of. In fact, holding people accountable to something they simply do not know about is a little bit ridiculous. You MUST take responsibility for your own boundaries.
Take Responsibility for how involved people are in your personal business and your world and affairs. People gain access to your inner world from you. Know who to let in and who to keep out. But don’t just know it- DO it. Take action. Say it. Be clear, take responsibility and say it.
This of course takes COURAGE.
Principle 3- Every time you set a boundary between you and another person, you have immediately reduced stress, gained respect and strengthened your sense of self. Those are three primary gifts of setting boundaries.
It is not that we don’t all have boundaries. It is often that we are reluctant to communicate them because we are afraid of being seen as unkind or simply fearful for one reason or another. When you exercise courage and set a clear boundary you have truly freed yourself. MW AH Michael Holgate