The Relationship Code (part 1)

Your emotions are powerful. By all means, use your intellect to shape and focus your life in a direction that suits you, But without carefully choosing and adding the power of positive emotions, you are weak in the face of those habits that are supported by powerful negative emotions. So here are the five rules in the theory I have about emotional intelligence and how it supports a healthy relational life.
1. If you are not smart enough to be happy… you ain’t that smart, no matter how many degrees you have.
– Spend time focussing on the things that bring you happiness. Spend time working on yourself to correct your erroneous beliefs and negative attitude patterns and emotions.
2. a.You can’t intellectualize your way into a good relationship. You simply can’t convince anyone on a mental level that you are good enough. First convince yourself. Full stop.
2.b. You can’t intellectualize your way out of your mistakes and bad relationship choices. If your choices lead to bad results- they are your choices and your results. Your intellect can’t fix that by itself without engaging with emotions.
3. When it comes to mental matters and the matters of the heart…the heart wins every time. Work through your emotions with vigilance.
4. The biggest addiction we all have as human beings… second to food… is emotions. Control them Or become a pawn to the roller-coaster that ultimately weakens you and brings stress.
5. Fear paralizes you until you Confront it. Always take small actions in the face of your fears. MW AH Michael Holgate