When something is intolerable to you then you either destroy it or it destroys you. Many of us stay in uncomfortable situations and positions for long periods of time because of fear. We simply have not mentally decided that the situation is intolerable. In fact, if you are tolerating a thing, it simply means that in some level you agree with it. On some level you believe that thing is true. No matter what this thing is, accepting it is a sign to yourself and the world that your life is in synch with it as a truth. Your fear reveals your truth.
If we look at fear carefully, we can realise that fear is the way our MIND gets us to accept the inevitability of what we really believe. In other words, fear is the mechanism we use to prevent ourselves from challenging the uncomfortable truth, that deep down we don’t feel we are good enough for that promotion; we don’t feel we deserve the kind of money we say we want; we don’t feel we are worthy of the kind of relationship that we have claimed; we don’t feel worth of that house or car or job or friend. So fear then, is Not this arbitrary emotion that comes out of nowhere. It is the end product of unsupportive programming that we have accepted as true. And so fear is simply ‘false evidence.’
I love the acronym sometimes used for fear in some spiritual circles – F.E.A.R. = False Evidence Appearing Real. I love it because it’s empowering to use when fears pop up, I can just say “That’s just false evidence. Let me leave it right there.”
More accurately however, fear is really the most honest and truthful evidence of a faulty belief system that is not supporting you. The presence of fear means that there is an absence of power in the things you believe in. Even more specifically, fear says there is an absence of power because you really don’t believe the thing you say you believe in. When you believe something you are free to act in faith and confidence.
When fear is there, it means that you are believing that something outside of you can bring harm or discomfort or some form of unwanted experience.
Your fear is not simply limiting you. It is reflecting how you limit yourself. The minute that you feel fear in any situation, you should go directly to your core beliefs and address that. Your fear is telling you that you want something that is not in synch with what you believe in or believe you should have. So fear is not a completely bad thing. It is merely a road sign pointing you in a direction but if you stay in fear holding on to the road sign then fear becomes a destructive thing. It becomes your inertia, your quicksand, your self-defeat.
So what do you do about this fear thing? You abolish it. Fear must be abolished. But you don’t abolish fear by thinking about fear. You abolish it by exercising your faith muscle. You act in spite of fear. Taking action in the face of your fears is one if the most powerful guarantees that you are on a path to eliminating that fear. The more you play into the fear that comes up is the more you support it and the LESS it supports you in what you really want to accomplish.
So here is an approach to a technique for dealing with fear. Let’s say that your dream calls to you in a specific way one day, and you immediately feel that telltale sign of resistance; doubt; nervousness; discomfort; etc… otherwise known as… fear. Here are some steps:
1. Address it – ask yourself what deep down belief is the fear pointing you to. When you have found it just observe it. Don’t try to prove you don’t believe it. You won’t necessarily be able to make that shift so easily. Just say to yourself, “Oh, this is what I truly believe.” THEN…
2. Take some kind of action in the direction you really want to go, in spite of the fear… In other words “Feel the fear and do it anyway…” or at least do something. Weaken the grip fear has on you. Pry yourself loose from it’s stranglehold on your life. Strengthen the other muscle. Let the fear muscle atrophy and die bit by bit.
3. Keep taking action in opposition to the fear.
4. Create a mental image in opposition to that fear. Use your imagination and create an end game mental image of yourself enjoying and being congratulated by someone you trust about this thing you want to accomplish. The truth is that very often, what you can eventually identify as fear is a mental image of something bad happening. We primarily think in pictures, words often come after. So communicate with your soul this way, to show what you really want to happen.
5. Keep BELIEVING in a different direction.
6. Become FEARLESS. Choose to address any and every fear that raises it’s head. The state of Fearlessness by my definition us not the absence of any discomfort when you look to the future. It is the MASTERY of yourself so that you act courageously in the direction of your dreams and goals (act in faith), in spite of whatever mental-emotional energies suggest you should do otherwise.
7. Stop investing energy, thoughts, feelings, words and actions in the directions of your fears.
FEARLESSNESS INCREASES YOUR JOY AND PRODUCTIVITY. It is interesting that the more fearless you feel and act is the more people seem to trust, respect and even like you more? It’s as if your soul equity somehow goes up in value. You become more bankable, so to speak. That doesn’t mean you weren’t really trusted to be true to your word. But sometimes being true to your word is not powerful enough. Fearlessness adds an edge to your power.
When you fearlessly confront people and deal with what you need to, then people might not like you… at least not right away… but they will respect you. The ones you defend will respect you and the ones you confront will respect you. Just because you confront though, doesn’t mean you have always been fearless. Sometimes you confront in passive aggressive ways and in victim mode. That is all fear. And fearful confrontations mostly result in perpetuating fearful situations. If you are standing in your power your stance strengthens both you and those around you.
The higher you go up the chain of command, the more fearlessness and/or courage is demanded of you. People sense when your reactions to them and actions in relation to them are coming from fear or strength or love or wisdom. Your inner approach to the thing is almost always revealed in the result. When you find yourself yielding greater and greater results, it’s likely you have been giving in less and less to fear- even if you are not initially aware of it.
Your programming is your programming. You don’t just wake up one morning and you are someone else living from a different set of programmes. But that is what you need to do. Fearlessly Reset your life’s programmes to become Fearless.