The process of getting to Self-Sabotage by way of negative emotion follows a pattern. It usually begins with you choosing to identify with a feeling that is not in your best interest. But why would anyone do this? We do it because we have subscribed to a notion or accepted that there is value in one of the negative emotions that society or conventional wisdom claims can be a teacher. And so it teaches us… BUT negative emotion CANNOT teach us positive self values or empowerment. Negative emotions will not eventually bring us to valuing of self. Negative emotions are not equipped to teach us self love. Negative emotions are the primary food source for disempowerment and Self-Sabotage. This is similar to how research has shown that sugar feeds cancer cells… but it tastes so good. Negative emotions feel like we are making progress with whatever situation they arise in, but they are carcinogenic to the soul AND the body.
Your job as you reach for ways to short-circuit Self-Sabotage is to likewise pull the plug on negative emotions. Don’t equate yourself with a negative behaviour as if the behaviour is you. This way: You won’t need to start the trickle down effect to self – sabotage. Let’s look for example at a possible route to Self-Sabotage through a simple situation that everybody goes through on a regular or even daily basis: you don’t get something you want; or you are not selected for something important to you.
Instead of taking it on as a negative thing and attaching negative emotions to it, make it a journey to readiness for that thing and not an immersion into self-judgment and negative identification. As Abraham Hicks would say “get ready to be ready…” Be ready for when something good comes.
So, with this approach:
-Your not being selected for something will not be downloaded in your heart, mind and soul as rejection.
-Therefore Rejection won’t make you so embarrassed that you start a process of destabilizing your self worth.
-Therefore you won’t be so concerned about this ‘rejection’ that you start guarding against rejection and looking for rejection and therefore make rejection a primary focus of your emotional life and so become a magnet for the very thing you don’t want – REJECTION.
-Therefore you won’t attract multiple rejections by virtue of spending most of your our time avoiding rejection.
-Therefore you wouldn’t have set the rejection self-saboteur in motion.
BECAUSE your not being selected for something was just treated as a sign to yourself that you are not yet ready… and that’s it. That’s all.
Read unwelcome results as a sign of your unreadiness. Nothing more. Don’t allocate negative emotions to the situation – and if they come up, simply dismiss them and remind yourself that you are simply not ready. Now, the trick is also to not put any negative emotion to the state of not being ready. There is more fun to come on this part of the journey. Look for it. Find it. Enjoy it.
Then practice this approach with other situations. Practice this approach of NOT allowing negative emotion to reign over your life. Practice this approach of not using negative emotion as your teacher. Practice this approach and don’t allow self sabotage a foothold in your life. MW AH Michael Holgate