The Habit of Self Sabotage (Part 5)

Self Sabotage is knowing and not doing.

Any time and every time you are aware of something that you could do and should do to make your life feel better and you don’t do it, you are self-sabotaging. And you know it. So of course there are various degrees and levels to Self-Sabotage. Some of us have mastered it, while others have only done a first degree in it. Some are simply certified self-sabotagers. The degree of Self-Sabotage you are at is the degree of Self-Sabotage you are aware of or feel honest enough to own. But self sabotage operates in a counter-indication. The more aware you are of Self-Sabotage is the less poser it has to affect you. And the less you are aware is the more power it has. So in other words, the people who have mastered Self-Sabotage are the ones who are most UNaware of it.

If you are not aware of your self-sabotaging mindset or behaviour, then you probably have not yet woke up to your ultimate responsibility for your life. If you are aware of some degree of self sabotage and yet you continue to do it, then you probably just don’t have the courage to take action in the direction of what is a better feeling place or a better life expression for you.

If you find yourself in a Self-Sabotage rut, check yourself to see if you have been giving more power to what others think than what your own soul knows. The truth is that your SELF would never sabotage itself. So when you self-sabotagers, what is really happening is that your SELF has been placed second, third or fourth or even tenth to someone else’s agenda, inside your own mind. Likely, some thing/s happened that made you feel some negative emotion. Then you equated or identified that negative emotion with SELF. Or someone identified or equated that negative action and emotion with you – and you accepted that as true. The next logical step would then be to stop trusting SELF. Or to believe that SELF will lead you to more negative situations which are locked in to emotional pain. This leads you to look outside of SELF for guidance as to what works in your favour. From there, it’s a slippery slope to Self-Sabotage. One you have turned on that internal mechanism that says ‘somebody outside of me knows better than me what’s good for me’ you are forever trying to live for the approval or in support of the contrary voices in your head. Those contrary voices are not always in support of nor give approval of what your inner SELF knows is good for you. Those contrary voices are the voices of people you have internalized as the replacement for your own true inner voice which knows your own drives and goals and inner intentions. Those voices don’t usually tell you what is possible. They usually tell you what is impossible. So let’s explore those voices a bit by exploring society and people and what they say and why- let’s see who these contrary voices really are.


People think they are protecting you by telling you what you can’t do. So they tell you what you can’t, more often than what you can do. People think that by showing you a road map to where you should not go, you will be enlightened and educated enough to go in the uncharted territory of where you want to go. People think that by leaving a strong negative imprint filled with emotional pain or punishment, you will never again want to do the thing so negatively imprinted on your mind. They don’t realise that something negatively imprinted on your mind is more like a beacon calling and seducing you in spite of yourself. People think that by helping you to doubt yourself they have prepared you to stay in your comfort lane to avoid future pain. So they don’t allow you to dream and fail then rise and fall as part of a life process of growth and consistent expansion.

And in doing this they handicap and sometimes cripple your ‘I can make it through anything muscle’ and strengthen your fear and avoidance muscle. Over a period of time as you recognise this you sometimes act in spite of the fear. But don’t be surprised when the fear also acts in spite of you. In other words, that persona hat you have strengthened to oppose your basic self and wants and desires and needs- will not suddenly start acting in support of your new decisions to follow your dreams. It will in fact give you reasons to stay on the painful non progressive course you are on… not because it is working, but because that’s all you have taught it to support. That is all muscles you have developed through practice.

So why am I pointing out all if this? Simply to point out that most self sabotage is really the competing voices of distrust, doubt and negative emotions planted in our minds as if they were the real you. THEY ARE NOT YOU! You are more than that.

Only you are responsible for yourself and your own attitudes, actions, words, feelings, thoughts and reactions. But if you don’t see and take that responsibility as your own it will be like you have planted a terrorist cell inside your homeland and it will be acting in opposition to you. It will be acting in the interest of those contrary voices that support other interests that run counter to yours. If you have not clearly defined your own interests, you will run the risk of giving power to the contrary voices of self sabotage. So here’s the deal, CLARITY, RESPONSIBILITY & COURAGE are your friend. These are the tools of your empowerment. Learning them is important. They are an integral part of YOUR EMPOWERMENT GPA. MW AH Michael Holgate