The habit of Self Sabotage

We are habit forming creatures. Humanity thrives on habits because it makes us feel safer to repeat something that has worked. It is part of the process of learning and growing. We form patterns of behaviours and actions that support us in our development and growth. We develop habits by a process of selection of things that we find useful. So how then, do we form these bad habits? The short answer is that at some point in time they worked. At some point in time A bad habit helped us feel safe, loved, protected, justified, understood… helped us feel like we fit in.

And now we keep it going, although it is no longer serving us because we can’t conceive of any way that we can survive without this habit being there to keep us safe. Most people are more aware of their addiction-like habits such as smoking or drinking or over-eating, but are less aware of habits of mind that are disempowering. We have habits of confusion; habits of victimhood; habits of rejection; habits of deception; habits of manipulation… so many habits. And these habits are often the basis of our self sabotage. Even while we aim for the stars and create big dreams and opportunities for ourselves, our negative habits can form a negative current of disempowerment that sabotages all progress being made – especially when we are blind to our habits of mind. When the place you are thinking from is the place that is causing the problem, it’s hard to see the ‘stinking thinking’ or problem itself.

BUT if you can see yourself repeating any negative behaviour pattern, or if you see a repeat of similar types of situations or experiences in your life- you probably have a self-sabotaging habit and make no mistake, the habit is yours. Until you own it and do the soul work to eliminate it from your life, it will stay active and sabotage you. Even the best of situations will fall prey to your self sabotaging habits. It all comes down to what you believe and accept as the way things or life work.

The habit of believing you have bad luck will create numerous pitfalls for you along life’s way. A habit of victimhood will make you a target for even the most passive of persons. A habit of being rejected or rejection will make you attracted to people who will reject you – or make you behave in ways that demand that people operate that way towards you even when that’s the last thing they would want to do.

It all may sound strange but we are magnets for the thoughts, feelings and images we persistently hold in mind. Our negative mind-habits frame our consciousness or awareness of ourselves to the extent that we cannot live as anything outside of that consistent frame. Somewhat like trapping smoke in a sealed glass jar. I believe after a while that even that active free spirited smoke settles… don’t allow your mind to stay settled on bad habits. Actively eliminate them.

MW AH Michael Holgate